Guitar Playing Instructions

by Mario Newson 

I learned the hard way. By a mean old man with a wooden ruler who slapped me on the head every time I made a mistake. And it wasn't even the type of music I wanted to play. They were classical guitar playing instructions I was forced to learn. All I ever wanted to learn to play was good old rock and roll. How I hated taking those guitar lessons. How I hated that mean old man.

That mean old man who was teaching me the guitar was my father. He was a failed classical musician who made his living doing something he hated - teaching snot nosed kids who had no appreciation of classical music - how to play the guitar.

My father was a dictator when it came to guitar playing instructions. I had to practice the guitar every day of the week for 2 hours a day. And the only music that was allowed to be listened to in my father's house was classical music. If he found any rock music in my room he would confiscate it. I had to go to my friend's house to listen to rock.

The day I turned 16 I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take my fathers rigid musical standards or his rigid guitar playing instructions. I packed all my cloth's in a duffel bag and walked into his study to confront him. He was sitting behind his old oak desk listening to Beethoven Symphony No. 9 in D minor.

He saw that I had packed my bags and he knew I was going to leave. A condescending smile came to his lips which just infuriated me more. I took the guitar, that I had spent hundreds of hours practicing on, and smashed it across his old oak desk. Then I left.

That was a very liberating day for me. I have never since been back to my father's house nor have I spoken to him. I am older now and have a family of my own. My father taught me a great lesson and that lesson was - how not to treat your children.

It is funny how life goes in cycles. I now make my living by teaching snot nosed kids how to play the guitar. But I am not a dictator nor am I mean. And the guitar playing instructions I teach are good old rock and roll.

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